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Speaking of spiders ...

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Speaking of spiders ...

Post by Tude on Wed Jun 17, 2015 3:50 pm

Very Happy

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Re: Speaking of spiders ...

Post by Your Mom on Wed Jun 17, 2015 4:21 pm

Whilst the video is probably manufactured, there are many instances of the deadly Brazilian wandering spider being exported with bananas.


Phoneutria, commonly known as Brazilian wandering spiders, armed spiders ("armadeiras", as they are known in Brazilian Portuguese), or banana spiders, are a genus of aggressive and venomous spiders of potential medical significance to humans. They are mainly found in tropical South America, with one species in Central America.[1] These spiders are members of the Ctenidae family of wandering spiders.
The Brazilian wandering spiders appear in Guinness World Records from 2010 as the world's most venomous spider. Guinness World Records states that although the Brazilian wandering spider venom is the most toxic, an effective antivenom is available and few fatalities occur.[2][3]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brazilian_wandering_spider
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Re: Speaking of spiders ...

Post by Sarah522 on Wed Jun 17, 2015 5:59 pm

Oh crap! I coulda gone my whole life without seeing that!!

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Re: Speaking of spiders ...

Post by Your Mom on Wed Jun 17, 2015 10:11 pm

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Re: Speaking of spiders ...

Post by Tude on Wed Jun 17, 2015 10:32 pm

hehe - I did much further exploration into this bananananana vid and it is indeed a fake - but a good one and a good creepy one at that.

http://www.shortlist.com/cool-stuff/virals/That-Spider-Bursting-Out-Of-A-Banana-Video-Is-Definitely-Fake

I like what this guy ended up with his researched info:

"Add in the fact that no details on where it was filmed are given and the fact that Kaleb himself has even admitted it's fake and... let's face it, fake. That said, we’re never eating bananas again. Kill them all with fire just in case.

And also, hats off to Kaleb Lechowski, someone give him a job in Hollywood."

hehe
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Re: Speaking of spiders ...

Post by Sarah522 on Wed Jun 17, 2015 10:44 pm



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Re: Speaking of spiders ...

Post by Sarah522 on Wed Jun 17, 2015 10:46 pm

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Re: Speaking of spiders ...

Post by Sarah522 on Wed Jun 17, 2015 10:56 pm

A story I wrote awhile back (100% true with the exception of the very last sentence).

Uninvited Guest

I'm sitting on the sofa one day, folding clothes still warm from the dryer, when out of the corner of my eye, I see something scurry across the floor to my right, at the bottom of the stairs. At the same instant, my three cats, who had all been lounging around napping in their favorite afternoon sun spots, jerked themselves up out of a sound sleep and went on high alert. They zoned in on whatever it was that had alerted them, and they waited, patiently, for further movement. All three of them had seen, or sensed, or HEARD? whatever this thing was that scurried across my floor. The dog, a big brave 75 pound golden retriever named Gordie, by this time had gotten up off his rug in the middle of the room, cowered against the far wall as far away from the disturbance as he could get and was sitting there with that "What the heck was THAT?" look on his face.

I'm thinking, "Oh H-E-Double-L. Another mouse," and having flashbacks of the sound of squealing as these prissy pampered indoor kitties play racquetball against the ceiling with the latest catch. They won't EAT the mouse, mind you, they're too well fed for that. They just PLAY with it to death.

I finally summon up the courage to actually turn my head to see what creature has invited itself into my home and sitting there like he owns the place at the bottom of the stairs is the biggest, hairiest, grossest, most disgustingly HUGE spider I've ever seen in all my life.

Now I'm a country girl. I've lived out in the country for a long time and I'm fairly used to the assorted vermin that inevitably wander in. Everything out here, spiders included, comes in supersize, and I'm used to that. The only time I really freak out at spiders is when they're in the bathtub and then it doesn't matter what size they are, I won't go near them. If I can't just wash them down the drain, I'll bathe outside.

But this THING sitting on the floor at the bottom of my stairs was the mother mutant of all arachnids. This creeping monster had to be 4-5 inches across. We do not have spiders that size here. And hairy! I CANNOT deal with spiders that have more hair than I do! It appeared as though the thing had come up through the floor register, which was one of those old fashioned jobs with the fancy fretwork and gaps large enough to fit a small child's arm (could be why they don't use them anymore?). Now this house we lived in was 120 years old and the basement was one of those proverbial old, creepy, dirt floor crypts. And so I'm sitting there looking at this spider wondering how many thousands of babies she had in my basement before she decided to come up and visit. Freaked myself right out.

So what do I do? None of the cats have moved a muscle. Any OTHER spider and they'd have been playing air hockey with the thing by now - or eating it. But even they weren't planning to mess with this guy. Gordie was still sitting there against the wall with that dumb look on his face. I was not ABOUT to try to capture this thing in any paper cup, that's for sure. I didn't really even want to move or breathe, for fear of agitating the beast.

So I very slowly reach over to the end table, pick up the cordless phone, and as I'm dialing my best friend's number, I very quietly climb up on the coffee table. And stay there. Teresa picks up and here's how the conversation goes:

Me (whispering): "Teresa, get over here."

Teresa: "Why? What's wrong?"

Me: "There's a spider in the house."

Teresa: Laugh. "Don't be ridiculous."

Me: "I'm not kidding Teresa, I have a spider from another galaxy here. Even the dog won't go near it. You HAVE to see this thing." (My subtle way of getting her over there to take care of it for me).

Teresa: "What's it look like?"

Me: "It's HUGE. It's HAIRY. It's in my living room getting ready to eat the cat! Get over here and help me figure out what to do!"

Teresa: Pause...sigh..."Alright, I'm on my way."

Seven agonizing minutes later, I hear the rattle of her old Cavalier pull in the driveway. She knocks on the back door, which I know is locked, so I holler at her, as quietly as I can so as not to disturb or frighten Jabba the Hut with legs, to come around to the front door. A minute later, the screen door pops open, she steps in, stops, looks around the room at the dog still cowering against the wall, the cats all frozen in stealth mode, and me on the coffee table...and she LAUGHS. She laughs her ASS off. She has tears rolling down her face, she's laughing so hard. This goes on for endless minutes, while the offending arachnid is crouched on the other side of the wall where she can't see him, but WE can.

Finally, she regains enough control to ask, "Where is it?" I point in the direction of the stairway and she slowly makes her way into the living room and around to the stairway and peeks around the corner.

"HOLY SHIT!!!" she says.

Yeah. No kidding. That's what I said.

"Well, we have to catch him," she says. "Do you have a glass big enough that we could set it on top of him?"

"No."

"A bowl?" she asks.

"No."

"A freaking SOUP POT maybe???"

So I very gingerly climb down off my perch on the coffee table, squeeze my way past the hallway, where Sir Spider is still lurking, and into the kitchen. I rummage through the cupboards until I find a two quart glass Pyrex casserole dish.

"Think this'll work?" I ask.

"Yep. That should do it."

Brave, brave Teresa. She puts on her Xena face and starts moving in for the capture. She gets about two feet away from the spider (shudder), leans over, and quickly drops the casserole dish on top of it. Easy as pie. The spider is royally pissed and is running around the perimeter of the dish like a wild banshee. But I can breathe now. I was so happy to see him under glass I could have cried.

The next problem was what to do with him now? My first thought was to just let him suffocate under there. I suggest that.

"I wonder how long it'd take?" Teresa asks.

I have visions of waking up in the middle of the night to the sound of dying spider wails, slowly fading away, and decide that would be just too cruel. Even if he is ugly. Even if he should be deleted from the arachnid gene pool. So we decide the ONLY thing we really CAN do is find something to slide under the spider and the bowl, preferably something very stiff and very heavy, and capture him that way. And then turn him loose outside. In the next county.

We could find nothing in the house that fit the bill. A calendar or a piece of cardboard would work as long as, once we got the bowl turned right side up, we had something heavy to put on top of it, but we were afraid these things were too thick and that he'd somehow squeeze his way through the crack when we tried to slide it under the bowl. Theoretically impossible, but still way too risky for me.

"Maybe we could just call pest control and let them take care of it," she suggests.

Too expensive. Besides, they'd laugh at us.

Then I remember out in the garage I have some pieces of old aluminum that I think would be perfect. Not very heavy, but thin enough to slide under the bowl without risking escape, and very sturdy. So we head out to the garage for some aluminum.

We find a piece of aluminum that is just the right size to cover the casserole. We aren't even gone for two minutes, I swear. We come back into the house to find:

1. All three cats still crouched in the exact same spots, hair on their backs standing straight up.
2. The dog still sitting in the exact same place, still with the dumb look.
3. The casserole dish partially ON TOP of the register grate, arachnid-less.

We stood there in silence for the longest time, each of us in our own minds trying to come up with a plausible explanation for how that casserole dish slid a foot and a half across the floor onto that register grate.

Finally, Teresa says, "How much you think that casserole dish weighs?"

Pause. "Probably about two pounds."

I never had the pleasure of meeting the people who bought our house.
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Re: Speaking of spiders ...

Post by Tude on Wed Jun 17, 2015 11:06 pm

LOL Sarah!

I used to work in a plastics company where people were traveling around the world and coming back to office - plus I'm a country girl who grew up in the swamps and fields - BUT I looked up at the top of my cubicle wall the one day over my computer and OMG there was a good 2" circumference black spider sitting high on it's spiked/intermediate spiked legs!!!!!! Got a book to squash it and I MISSED. /00\ wtf. <shudders> never seen anything like that and I googled it and could not find it. Told my co-workers about it too and hehe it was like there was a mouse on the floor - people walked around and looked on the floor - in back of their computer ...

And then the evile me took over - hehe - I like gumball machines that give you the cheap toys - WELL I got a spider the one time that resembled nasty in my office - so I ... daily hung the spider on the cloth cubicle wall - different spots, different days. Even putting it on top of the cubicle wall so other worker could see it. HEHE

Bad me. Very Happy
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Re: Speaking of spiders ...

Post by Sarah522 on Wed Jun 17, 2015 11:13 pm

Wait...........

You missed it?

With a BOOK?????

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Re: Speaking of spiders ...

Post by Tude on Wed Jun 17, 2015 11:46 pm

Sarah522 wrote:Wait...........

You missed it?  

With a BOOK?????


Fast lil fucker Very Happy
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Re: Speaking of spiders ...

Post by Sarah522 on Thu Jun 18, 2015 3:09 pm

Just messin with ya, Tude. At least you tried! I called for help!

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Re: Speaking of spiders ...

Post by Terpentin on Thu Jun 18, 2015 3:59 pm

"dying spider wails"

lol!

Did I mention I like living in a place where the most poisonous critter is a honeybee?
And the most dangerous a wild boar (and quite delicious, too)?

cheers


Wolves are back because of the hippie green folks, though...wonder how those taste...
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Re: Speaking of spiders ...

Post by Your Mom on Thu Jun 18, 2015 10:58 pm

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Re: Speaking of spiders ...

Post by Sarah522 on Fri Jun 19, 2015 12:32 am

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Re: Speaking of spiders ...

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